Over the years I have been fortunate to have worked with some great people, who were very talented in their chosen career and were often venturing into leadership. Many of them were capable leaders who often looked within themselves to see how they could raise their leadership bar. In many cases, they did this to such an extent that they would occasionally have a crisis of confidence. The common theme with these people was they had an element of self-doubt, that inner critic that we all have inside of us and can sometimes bother us at inconvenient moments. Many people call this “Imposter Syndrome.” Whilst I acknowledge this is a genuine issue for many people, I do not like the term. It feels to me as if there is a permanency about this. The phrase refers to the internal experience of self-doubt, where we believe we are not as competent as others perceive us to be. My belief is that this inner critic can be looked at differently and can be worked with, to help serve us in more positive ways.
Whether you call it imposter syndrome, impostor phenomenon, or fraud syndrome, remember that you’re not alone in feeling this way. This feeling of being an imposter despite genuine accomplishments, can arise from various factors: For example, some studies suggest that families that prioritise high achievement above all else may inadvertently contribute to some family members` feelings of inadequacy.
A common reason for self-doubt is when new life or work opportunities arise: Transitioning into a new role, whether at work or school, can trigger self-doubt. I often find that this self-doubt is prominent in the first six to nine months of any new role. The thrill of receiving a promotion and the excitement of what lies ahead can quickly turn into the fear of not measuring up to expectations. This is a common theme I work with in coaching. The great news is that if we spend time, reflecting deeper on what may be going on within us, it can lead to great insights which will help serve us and grow.
- What are the ingrained traits we need to check in on which could lead to an experience of negative inner talk?
Some people will class themselves as perfectionists. In these people there is a feeling that we must be flawless to succeed or in some cases, act. These people have very high standards of themselves and is a central reason to their success. However, with such high standards, this can lead to stress, burnout, and anxiety. To help understand if perfectionism is something we may have or a behaviour we could adopt, please consider the following questions:
- How do I respond when I make a mistake?
- What have I procrastinated on recently and what was causing this?
Perfectionism will not be the only reason for self-doubt. Lack of preparation will be something that could lead us to doubting ourselves in certain situations and fear of failure or fear of success may also be a contributory factor.
Fear of failure is talked about a lot. The word “failure” has a finality about it and often doesn’t translate to the issue that we are worrying about, but it does have an impact on us emotionally. This can lead us to acting emotionally by either freezing or avoiding situations. The impact of this however is that we could be missing out on brilliant opportunities to grow, develop and succeed. To help us reflect if we have a fear of failing, please consider the following questions:
- How quickly do I turn down opportunities to try something new?
- How often do I worry about people`s perception of me?
Fear of success is discussed less than fear of failure, but it is a common issue. As an example of this, I once spoke with someone on holiday who was considering turning down a promotion because they were worried about the impact that this would have on their relationships with their work colleagues and some friends. They were also concerned about what they may have to give up as well, which is a valid concern of course, but can lead to us losing out on new opportunities. To help us reflect if we have a fear of failing, please consider the following questions:
- What frightens me about succeeding?
- What stops me from sharing my successes?
Remember, we’re not alone in experiencing self-doubt. Many accomplished individuals grapple with it, even when there’s no apparent reason for them to feel like this. The great news is that self-doubt can be addressed, and self-confidence can be built, particularly in a coaching setting. What matters is how we channel those feelings into growth and resilience.
Recognising self-doubt is the first step toward overcoming it. You’re not alone, and many successful people have faced similar feelings. Building self-awareness and seeking support can help mitigate its impact. I enclose some considerations to help us at times when we are doubting ourselves. As I wrote in last months` reflection, it is important to sit with these emotions in a safe setting. It’s important that we understand that self-doubt is a common experience. It doesn’t mean we lack competence; it’s a sign that we’re pushing our boundaries. There is a quote somewhere that states that “at the end of our comfort zones is where the magic happens.”
To help further reflect on this. Think back to a challenge you have overcome previously. You would have felt vulnerable and uncomfortable at times either before or during that challenge, but you have come through this. As a result of coming through this situation, there will be learning from this event that will serve you to this very day. So, if this was true then, there is no reason why not now.
If we are able to apply these principles to our challenges and remember that growth often happens outside our comfort zones, we’re capable of remarkable things. If we currently are feeling stretched and some of the issues raised in today’s article resonate, it could be that we are experiencing a moment of growth, we may be outside of our comfort zone and better times are ahead.n begin to think more clearly. Through more clarity of thought, we become more response-able to understand what is within our gift of influence and begin to put energy into the areas that can make a positive difference to our situation.
